escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
