I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
