And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just want to make out with him forever
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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