He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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