sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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