Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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