I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
