Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
im holly from the hills drunk
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
