I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I wear drunk well.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize