dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
