I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
