Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
