True but thats because hes a fetus.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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