Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
