Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
