Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize