we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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