i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
