that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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