You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
