...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize