found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize