I need help removing her.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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