I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
