need another drink. this is the easiest way
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
