apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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