Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
