gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Brb crying the tears of my youth
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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