I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize