Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize