gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
