I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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