I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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