Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I queefed so loud it echoed.
No subtext here. People are naked.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We have so much sex to catch up on
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
