so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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