do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
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