More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Jerry, you need to find god
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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