Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
