You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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