this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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