Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I want to have your abortion
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
