My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
