she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
