What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
