thus making me awesome and them whores
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize