I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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