Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
