I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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