Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
