sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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