Old men and throwing up are my life now.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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