I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
