I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
