you guys were way drunker than both of me
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
