Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
