Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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