just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
