there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
