Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
